Wow. Just...wow.

....and that's not "Wow" in a good way....

I'm not keen on airing grievances over the interweb but I'm trying to be more consistent with posting.

It's been a no good very bad horrible week...arguably one of the worst that I've had in years.  I'd like to chalk it up to "being in Houston" and I'm sure that that is part of it.

But the week would have been tough in any location.

Details aren't important.  What is...hopefully...is the response.  And I'm interested to see that my reaction to adversity is somewhat different now than four years ago when the last shit storm rolled through.  Now, although prospects don't appear any less bleak, I find that I'm just not as spun out as I would normally get.  Big and Bad things are on the horizon...but there's only so much I can do from day to day...

Little by little...day by day

Will be trying to post things more often which should be easy to do in my case.


I turn 40 this year.  Right now I don't feel weird about this as it's better than the alternative.  But who knows how I'll feel in a few months?

In February I went to Australia for work and decided to treat myself to an early birthday present; a week in New Zealand.  This week was mostly spent driving around the south island in a van, camping in various places and trying to slow down a little.  Like I mentioned...lots of things swimming around in the brain-space these days and I don't take enough time to really be "present." 
A few good hikes, a few nice sessions fly fishing and a LOT of sandfly bites.

New things for the ear holes.

AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!

Ok...years have passed, as they always do, between posts. 

I've been spending a lot of time in my head lately.  There are a lot of little "anniversaries" at this time of year and I tend to be somewhat reflective about the significant events of the past 4 years (or so).  This time around is no different except for the music that I'm listening to. 

You see, about a month ago I realized that I've been listening to basically the same playlist for the last 4 years.  I've crossed paths along the way with new songs, some of which get added to the list, but for the most part things have been sonically constant.  While this isn't necessarily bad (I like my music!) it tends to reinforce certain emotions that are associated with the songs.  And I want that to change.

So - I'm starting to expand outward again.  Taking on some "new" tunes to color the mindscape.  And, in that regard, it's time for a different view of things...

Spending Time

Happy that my son is now back living in California.
There's a lot that I could say about non-ideal situations, the struggles that have been (and are being) endured (sometimes rather poorly) and all manner of.....

Well...

What I'm really keenly aware of right now is how much I'm enjoying getting to spend so much more time with my son. We've been building things, throwing frisbees, playing in the sand, exploring the beach, swimming, fixing toilets and just, in general, enjoying being together. And I'm so grateful that the time of being apart so much is now over.

New Music

Ran across this today and thought it was worthy of sharing.

Uh...with the complete absence of people who will read this.

Damn.

Anyway....here it is:

The Sad Carnivore

When I lived in Montana I started hunting. It was a mix of "I want to eat meat" and "I want to get outside so I don't go crazy" and "I like walking around the mountains with a rifle."

I moved back to the SoCal last year and the hunting culture is...not as prevalent...as in Montana. But there is a season and normal people can get deer tags so I got one and went for a walk in the back country looking for some food.

It was nice getting out. Didn't see anything that I could shoot but I'm starting to connect with the land here in some new ways.

Still...it'd be nice to make some deer tacos...

Abiding

It's been an interesting few weeks and I'm actually contemplating writing some more in-depth (somewhat revealing) posts about a few things that I'm dealing with right now. But just to stave off the urge to not post ANYTHING unless I have something monumental to say....well...just thought that I should try to get into the habit of writing SOMETHING. Then, perhaps, my great works will follow...

As for now:
Enjoying the sun when it comes out. I've been on some new medication over the past two weeks and I think that my body/brain is starting to adapt to it. So it's a little easier to get motivated to head out and I've been trying to get into the ocean as much as possible. I hadn't surfed since I moved back to Cali in spring '10 until about two weeks ago. I'm trying to paddle out every day (or at least every couple of days). Waves are small but crappy and I couldn't be happier to get out into the water again.

Abiding, indeed.